How Technology Has Changed Dating
June 19, 2019
We all know that technology has had a huge impact on our lives—in all aspects. Dating has never been easy, and the addition of technology in our lives has both helped and hindered the dating world.With the ease of our access to technology there is social media, text messaging, video calling, and everything in between.
Let’s explore how technology has changed dating
Technology has changed the way we communicate with one another. It’s easy to see how technology has changed dating a lot. Let’s explore how that has affected us.
1. Everyone is an option
Before the internet-obsessed era, we did not “know” as many people. Today we can be Facebook friends with strangers, we can follow thousands of people we don’t actually “know” on Twitter, and we can spend hours liking people’s pictures on Instagram.
Though these additions to our lives have their benefits, it also means we are exposed to thousands of people we would not have known otherwise. Maybe you view this as a positive and maybe you view it as a negative, but regardless, technology has added a lot more people into our lives.
2. Attention spans are short
Though it is a debatable fact, it sure seems like our attention spans are shorter these days. Most of us are pretty addicted to smartphones, whether we like to admit it or not. For “fear of missing out” or “FOMO,” we feel an inexplicable need to check our text messages and social networking accounts even if nothing is new.
Though some may view this as a way to bond with their partner, it can also be detrimental to focus on your phone rather than your relationship.
3. Constant contact
Another big change that technology has brought into our dating lives (and beyond) is the need to be constantly in touch with one another. Though it can be nice—to always be able to speak with your mother, for instance—it can add unnecessary strain to a relationship as well.
Do you always need to know exactly what your partner is doing? We are all familiar with the feeling that a long-unanswered text message leaves us with. If your partner “ignores you” and doesn’t respond to you right away, whether or not you are being logical, it can be irritating. Technology has introduced us to fantastic ways to keep in touch with each other—though constant contact is not always positive.
4. Things move quicker
It has been reported often in recent years that technology, and the access to social media, has helped our relationships move to the next level much quicker than pre-Facebook days.
Why is this? The fact that we have such quick and easy and frequent access to Facebook messages, Twitter direct messages, Instagram messages, and text messages means that we have the ability to connect (with strangers, our partners, our family, etcetera) without thinking twice about it.
When you start dating someone these days, it quickly becomes about “going public,” because if you are together, why shouldn’t the internet world know? There has always been a lot of pressure regarding “defining the relationship,” but these days, it means something even more involved.
5. Meeting in person is not a given
Similarly to the aforementioned “constant contact” online, meeting in person can kind of fall to the wayside. Dating apps like Tinder and dating sites like OK Cupid and Match allow you to build an entire relationship with someone before you have ever met them in person.
Even if you are not seeking out a relationship, connecting with people on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or any other social site can often lead to a romantic relationship. Personally, I connect with many people on Twitter and a few of them have been romantic interests. I met a young man in person after talking to him via Twitter (and eventually text message) for multiple years. Though it leads to a sweet story sometimes, it is definitely a backwards approach in getting to know a person.
6. We are more judgmental
When using an app like Tinder or signing up for a dating website, we are literally taught to swipe left or right depending on how attractive a person is. Sure, sometimes there are bios involved or jokes exchanged before you make your “decision,” but the whole act is largely based on whether or not you two find one another attractive. Of course this is not an entirely new process.
By nature, we judge people based on how attractive we find them, however, in a bar or other social setting, you would probably not tell someone to get away from you just because you didn’t find them up to your physical standards.
7. There are more ways to show our love
Not everything is negative. Technology has introduced so many different ways of telling each other how we feel. Showing your love publicly—on a social networking site for instance—is the new romance. We all know so much about each other, and that includes our love lives.
I am always so happy for my friends who recently got married, or are having a new baby, or just met someone new. There is something special about sharing your love for your partner with the internet world.
Beyond that, even between the two of you, there are many more ways to tell each other “I love you.” Video chatting and features like FaceTime and Skype have introduced a new way of staying in touch when you two are apart from one another—something that has helped long-distance couples immensely. It is nice to feel close when you are not close.
8. We can be specific
Though it is nice to get to know people with a variety of interests different from our own, it is equally nice to get to know someone who has the same passion. There are so many different groups of people to get involved with now that technology is in our lives.
There are specific dating apps—focusing on race, gender, et cetera—and there are also meet-up groups in our communities based on what we like to do for fun. With the technology these days, it is easy to find someone with the right gender, race, religious affiliation, or anything else.
9. Everything is easy
Okay, okay. So dating may never be easy, but it is definitely easier to put yourself out there nowadays, seeing how technology has changed dating in so many ways. Rejection feels different than in person and connecting with people comes quicker and more frequently. Also, sending a text message is always easier than calling someone on the phone, at least nerves-wise.